lost myself in a sea of boxes



red clouds

I see my
head in the clouds
so high and unattainable
dreaming in far away colours
off in the blue
sitting in the red
the world blurred
all around
I feel the biting heat
tearing on my skin

I turn the tunes
drown in the memories
they hold
waiting for the red clouds
to perish



red veins

I was born with a red dot inside the palm of my hand. It was merely a teeny spot when I was such as well – innocent and good
But ever since I was exposed to this world,
slowly tainted by its air and words and ways; the red freckle spread and grew its roots –  slowly spreading in my veins. I can feel the red crawling up my blood.
And it is slowly painting a maze onto my skin.

the bloodshed

In disbelieve these words had come from their orange lips, she held back emotions with painfully tightened fists. Born from a flat sigh, the words finally started to flow. There was nothing holding them back anymore. They needed to see the shade the nightmare had made her.

“Imagine being in a massive crowd of people, friends and family. Standing there, merrily chanting along the lines to song about the very thing you believe in; you stand for right there. You’re happy. You’re at peace. All of the sudden a shot in the laughter, singing turns into screaming – mayham. People restlessly running around in horror – back and forth. Nowhere to go. Like a murder of crows uncontrollably controlled by the 27 shots that followed. You look around, all you see is people. Sheer terror in their voices, confusion on their faces, despair and agony dripping from their drowning eyes. People everywhere. People screaming. People crying. People dying. All and everywhere is people, parted by the red rivers that flow.”

face behind mine

the face behind mine
I hid so well
I forgot the lines
and the shade of
the deepened eyes
the curve of
the covered lips
for when I stop to think
I am not sure
what my face
truely looks like
and so it is
ever changing

lifeless gift

You didn’t want to give me flowers
that would perish
as soon
as I placed them in my room
so you gave me a pretty plant
without telling me
how to care for it
and so, now
I am sitting in my room
looking at the lifeless
crisp leaves on the floor.
And I feel as though they were mine.

the lies I have made

It is all that is left me – that and the mere image in my mind, although I fear that it is corrupted by the loving eyes of the child that I was. Unknowing of what I saw I took it all in and painted it in different colours – protecting me from reality. For it was raw and I could not take it.

– just a relict of my past

a reminder of who I was

and who I am

Red laughter

never lonely

surrounded by no one but strangers

just one in a world of passing things


crowded by known faces

purposely lost

invisible in a sea of eyes

seeing nothing but her lines

colourless in a room of

red laughter

March 27th

She spread out the map,

pressed it against the wall

and saw all the roads and places

– all the roads that would take her away from this place

– all her ways out and far away.

So easy, so intertwined ,

reaching all over

leading north, leading back.

She took a deep breath and thought.

She thought, no matter how far north she walked,

no matter how many paths she followed

that promised to lead her away.

She knew in the back of her head,

somehow these roads would all bring her back

to stand right in front of this wall.

cut it

I stare at the reflection
and see the silver locks
falling down on my body
and I don’t see myself
I see an alien
that is reminiscent
of my being
but defined
by the ever growing
silver on its head

– this isn’t me

rethink your vintage

I know, there’re some out there that strongly believe that vintage pieces are to be conserved and not be touched – changed. But I also know that I am not one of those, so I regularly am having a great time rethinking and redesigning thrift finds.
To me they become way more special and personal – since I changed them to my liking.

But yes, here’s some things you can do to your clothes at home if you find yourself bored with them. Also, keep an open mind when thrifting and try to think what you could turn pieces into.

  • Refit for best results. Very basic and obvious, but if it doesn’t fit as you want// need it to, simple alter it. This can be as simple as adding an extra button, removing some shoulder pads or sowing shut some too revealing slits. You could also crop sweaters or willow long- or wide-legged pants. All super uncomplicated quick fixes.
  • Add some jazz. My personal favourite, as my mum sorely will confirm, is adding some rips and distress to shirts or jeans. An other favourite is adding patches and pins to about anything. I’ve got that one important pin to keep home with me that constantly jumps from bag to bag to travel with me anywhere. Patches always work on all kinds of denim, but also shirts and sweaters (easiest for transfer with heat is probably to mostly stick to cotton and natural materials). Usually, you can find super dope (and ironically funny) patches at the thrift store. For more specific or recent ones maybe check out etsy.com and support some creative crafty people (also there’s some really cool shit on there).
    Super quick, but so much fun also: throwing on some paint.
  • Completely rethink. With this I usually change the look and purpose of the initial item. Maybe you really like the fabric of some shirt, but absolutely would not be caught wearing the particular style. You can simple use the fabric for something else, maybe only add it to some other piece for accents or garnish.
    I recently bought an old classic cheerleader uniform top. Quite frankly, it fits utterly awful. I personally knew that I’d never wear it as it was. Seeing the whole transparent maxidress thing going around, I decided to try give it an entirely different look by adding some chiffon after cropping it a tad bit.
    There’s a lot of things you can do to switch up your clothes, it can never hurt to get some inspiration on blogs, pinterest or magazines if your mind seems blank.