It’s a Tormund!

After the 7th season of Game of thrones left me all alone traumatized, I decided to do a painting of Tormund beyond the wall to calm myself down.



red clouds

I see my
head in the clouds
so high and unattainable
dreaming in far away colours
off in the blue
sitting in the red
the world blurred
all around
I feel the biting heat
tearing on my skin

I turn the tunes
drown in the memories
they hold
waiting for the red clouds
to perish

Bitchin’ Thriftin’

After binging Stranger Things season 2 I’ve noticed a serious craving for some bitchin thrifting (11 might have a bit much influence on me). But in all seriousness that show is on it’s A game when you look at the attention to detail there’re paying to get all the clothes, the environment and references right. And it really pays off, it seems so authentic. And the part I truely love as much as Eleven’s bad ass hair do, it the authentic outfits the characters are wearing.
Therefore, I’ve been spending quite some time recently, roaming through forums and thrift stores.

Thrifted clothes are so special, because the entire premise is that they’re not brand new. In fact they’re worn, used and already have that personality on them.
I find that vintage clothing shows, not only to others but also yourself, who you are and defines your style.

Reading into that sustainability thing, that’s coming up more and more as an issue, thrifting is also an amazingly eco-conscious choice to make. You’re deciding to vote with your money to show, that you don’t want a new fast fashion jacket. Rather, I’d wear a thrift find I dug out in a tiny store and get all excited about it.

Where I live, I’ve found that it is a great little city for cheap thrifting, but not so great for exceptional thrifting.

So, being the former shopping addict I in some ways still am, I oftentimes, resort to the internet. There’s already a number of websites to sell and buy clothes C2C. I like to use those to find very specific pieces and roam around for some more expensive clothes and styles. My personal favourites are Kleiderkreisel (I live in Germany, where it’s quite established and has a bunch listings; there also is an american version – thrifted), depop and ebay.

Still, one of my favourite weekend activities is to search out some of the local thrift stores and dig through. Add some coffee with that and it is a perfect saturday to me.

Cosmetics Haulternative

Since switching to a completely plantbased diet about 6 months ago, naturally I’ve been replacing my cosmetics bit by bit as well for vegan, curelty free and more eco-friendly alternaives.
Here are some of the new products I’ve been using the past months and absolutely adore.

For starters if you’re looking for cruelty free skin care and want to cut down on the plastic packaging, Lush is always a good place to start.
Maybe consider switching out shower gel and shampoo plastic bottles for solid alternatives, which often will be cheaper in the long run, since you don’t pay for the packaging and it’s design. Of course, Lush does have great options for that and I would recommend to check them out, because they smell oh so amazing. If you don’t have a Lush near you, mostly, a simple bar of soap (check if it’s vegan) will do as well.

You can also get a completely recyclable bamboo toothbrush to switch out your plastic one. While on dental hygiene, I recently switched to the Sante B12 toothpaste, since usually the body can absorb B12 quite well this way.

Replacing your cosmetics with vegan, cruelty free alternatives is not only beneficial for the animals and environment, but also in most cases for yourself and your skin, since you’re cutting out products that usually heavily rely on mixing chemicals that you’re then lathering onto your skin.



red veins

I was born with a red dot inside the palm of my hand. It was merely a teeny spot when I was such as well – innocent and good
But ever since I was exposed to this world,
slowly tainted by its air and words and ways; the red freckle spread and grew its roots are slowly spreading in my veins. I can feel the red crawling up my blood.
And it is slowly painting a maze onto my skin.

the bloodshed

In disbelieve these words had come from their orange lips, she held back emotions with painfully tightened fists. Born from a flat sigh, the words finally started to flow. There was nothing holding them back anymore. They needed to see the shade the nightmare had made her.

“Imagine being in a massive crowd of people, friends and family. Standing there, merrily chanting along the lines to song about the very thing you believe in; you stand for right there. You’re happy. You’re at peace. All of the sudden a shot in the laughter, singing turns into screaming – mayham. People restlessly running around in horror – back and forth. Nowhere to go. Like a murder of crows uncontrollably controlled by the 27 shots that followed. You look around, all you see is people. Sheer terror in their voices, confusion on their faces, despair and agony dripping from their drowning eyes. People everywhere. People screaming. People crying. People dying. All and everywhere is people, parted by the red rivers that flow.”

face behind mine

the face behind mine
I hid so well
I forgot the lines
and the shade of
the deepened eyes
the curve of the
covered lips
for when I stop to think
I am not sure
what my face
truely looks like
and so it is
ever changing

lifeless gift

You didn’t want to give me flowers
that would perish
as soon
as I placed them in my room
so you gave me a pretty plant
without telling me
how to care for it
and so, now
I am sitting in my room
looking at the lifeless
crisp leaves on the floor.
And I feel as though they were mine.

august 15th

when I think about then
I see myself sitting by a blue window
looking at a wild glooming garden
with the smell of coffee hanging in the air
captured inbetween my hands
I will gaze over to floors and walls covered
in patterns of colours indefinable
scraps of my mind on yellow paper
clustered all around
and miles of crisp white canvas waiting
and all I can see is me
in these tiny walls
that would be mine
merely falling apart
holding each other
to hold on

and hold on to my brushes

the lies I have made

It is all that is left me – that and the mere image in my mind, although I fear that it is corrupted by the loving eyes of the child that I was. Unknowing of what I saw I took it all in and painted it in different colours – protecting me from reality. For it was raw and I could not take it.

– just a relict of my past

a reminder of who I was

and who I am

Red laughter

She wouldn’t feel lonely

surrounded by no one but strangers

just one in a world of passing things


crowded by known faces

she’d feel abandoned

purposely lost

invisible in a sea of eyes

seeing nothing but her lines

colourless in a room of

red laughter

choking on water

when faceless names

washed her out.

March 27th

She spread out the map,

pressed it against the wall

and saw all the roads and places

– all the roads that would take her away from this place

– all her ways out and far away.

So easy, so intertwined ,

reaching all over

leading north, leading back.

She took a deep breath and thought.

She thought, no matter how far north she walked,

no matter how many paths she followed

that promised to lead her away.

She knew in the back of her head,

somehow these roads would all bring her back

to stand right in front of this wall.

false comfort

I get too comfortable with my friends
so I feel safe enough
to be
without thought
when I sit with others
on weekdays
and I feel lonlier than in
my room
because I can feel
burning into my flesh
meshed up with whispers
engraving into my mind
when I am lost
all alone in there

rethink your vintage

I know, there’re some out there that strongly believe that vintage pieces are to be conserved and not be touched – changed. But I also know that I am not one of those, so I regularly am having a great time rethinking and redesigning thrift finds.
To me they become way more special and personal – since I changed them to my liking.

But yes, here’s some things you can do to your clothes at home if you find yourself bored with them. Also, keep an open mind when thrifting and try to think what you could turn pieces into.

  • Refit for best results. Very basic and obvious, but if it doesn’t fit as you want// need it to, simple alter it. This can be as simple as adding an extra button, removing some shoulder pads or sowing shut some too revealing slits. You could also crop sweaters or willow long- or wide-legged pants. All super uncomplicated quick fixes.
  • Add some jazz. My personal favourite, as my mum sorely will confirm, is adding some rips and distress to shirts or jeans. An other favourite is adding patches and pins to about anything. I’ve got that one important pin to keep home with me that constantly jumps from bag to bag to travel with me anywhere. Patches always work on all kinds of denim, but also shirts and sweaters (easiest for transfer with heat is probably to mostly stick to cotton and natural materials). Usually, you can find super dope (and ironically funny) patches at the thrift store. For more specific or recent ones maybe check out and support some creative crafty people (also there’s some really cool shit on there).
    Super quick, but so much fun also: throwing on some paint.
  • Completely rethink. With this I usually change the look and purpose of the initial item. Maybe you really like the fabric of some shirt, but absolutely would not be caught wearing the particular style. You can simple use the fabric for something else, maybe only add it to some other piece for accents or garnish.
    I recently bought an old classic cheerleader uniform top. Quite frankly, it fits utterly awful. I personally knew that I’d never wear it as it was. Seeing the whole transparent maxidress thing going around, I decided to try give it an entirely different look by adding some chiffon after cropping it a tad bit.
    There’s a lot of things you can do to switch up your clothes, it can never hurt to get some inspiration on blogs, pinterest or magazines if your mind seems blank.


Size may vary

We all know that sizes may vary from brand to brand, hell sometimes even with the same brand. I personally experienced this a lot at Zara and similar fast fashion stores; i might grab one jacket in small size and it fits perfectly, next week, a jacket with similar cut and everything might be even tight in a medium size. Brands tend to make use of “up- or downsizing” to influence our decision to buy certain pieces.

For my Parsons x TeenVogue assignment, I went to a store that carries multiple brands and see how sizes vary. I picked tkmaxx for the store.

I decided to compare jackets, shirts and pants.
The bomber jacket I chose, fit perfectly, in lenght and width; the thick cardigan on the other hand I might as well have stolen from my boyfriend, it was way too wide and the sleeves I would have needed to willow.
The shirts fitted as expected. The one that looked neatly made fitted quite well, the one with the cheap look to it fitted just awefully.

Same with the pants as I noticed. Poor quality really showed in the fit, the way the clothes hung from my body. The cheap fit really felt like it was just a product thrown out on the market in a rush and a very very standardized fit. With the higher quality products  the fit seemed more thought through for the individual products.